It actually takes a lot of courage for me to write this...
I lost you a long long time ago...i slept with hope of finding you one day..that just never came..i was good, i was bad..doing practically everything just waiting..i became a thief, a liar to the world but only the hope that you will come kept me going strong, till i realized that whatever i am doing is not pleasing you i went from a spoiled child to a good girl..i am still waiting for you to return..what will it take for you to come back to me..what made you go so far far away..?
"I'am a good girl mummy please now come back i need you a lot,i feel very lonely".. as a teenager i kept repeating those words while finding it hard to look at your smiling face with my tear filled eyes...
When i made friends i had no one to tell about them,..when i got a prize i wanted you to see,..whenever i lost i wanted you to be there..
My every achievement was marred by your absence,..as i grew older..i went to new places...saw new faces...if only your face would have been there,..my loneliness would not have became my best friend..i had my worst experience with death when it took away "bua dadi"..seeing the whole ordeal of her being consumed by cancer hurt me like a thorn i realized that there is something worse than death....i was strangely relieved...
I became an adult, i went to college..so much i wanted to ask..so much i wanted to know,..if only you were there to help me just a little bit...a little piece of advice,..a small suggestion..just about anything...
Slowly I became mature,..had my heart broken,..how much i needed you...
everywhere i go i search for a bit of you in everything..it might be nearly 20 years...but i still wait for you...i sleep telling myself..giving myself hope..of finding you one day...
