Maa...

It actually takes a lot of courage for me to write this...

I lost you a long long time ago...i slept with hope of finding you one day..that just never came..i was good, i was bad..doing practically everything just waiting..i became a thief, a liar to the world but only the hope that you will come kept me going strong, till i realized that whatever i am doing is not pleasing you i went from a spoiled child to a good girl..i am still waiting for you to return..what will it take for you to come back to me..what made you go so far far away..?
"I'am a good girl mummy please now come back i need you a lot,i feel very lonely".. as a teenager i kept repeating those words while finding it hard to look at your smiling face with my tear filled eyes...
When i made friends i had no one to tell about them,..when i got a prize i wanted you to see,..whenever i lost i wanted you to be there..
My every achievement was marred by your absence,..as i grew older..i went to new places...saw new faces...if only your face would have been there,..my loneliness would not have became my best friend..i had my worst experience with death when it took away "bua dadi"..seeing the whole ordeal of her being consumed by cancer hurt me like a thorn i realized that there is something worse than death....i was strangely relieved...
I became an adult, i went to college..so much i wanted to ask..so much i wanted to know,..if only you were there to help me just a little bit...a little piece of advice,..a small suggestion..just about anything...
Slowly I became mature,..had my heart broken,..how much i needed you...
everywhere i go i search for a bit of you in everything..it might be nearly 20 years...but i still wait for you...i sleep telling myself..giving myself hope..of finding you one day...

How to Live Life or something like it...

"When in my couch i lie in vacant or in pensive mood they flash upon the inward eye which is the bliss of solitude",....i guess anyone who has even had a close brush with poetry will definitely know what i am talking about,.....
Wordsworth, one of my favorite poet for a very simple reason (I'm sure even he might have marveled at what i am about to say...)he gave a lot of space to one imagination to run. People who having read his above line would definitely know what he is talking about,...yes yes the "Daffodils", lovely little yellow beauties, which with a background of lush green would even mesmerize even a bacchanalian. The beauty of nature is so intoxicating.
But lets come back to my reason for liking his poetry,... yes when he after his lone walk lies on his couch he is reminded of the scenic beauty of the daffodils which he saw on his path,..
Now when i use my imagination i feel this walk as life and the daffodils as "a thing of beauty is a joy forever"... so whenever we introspect we think about a lot of things but surely we tend to forget little joys which life throws down our path,... I write for i realize the its true we somewhere down the line forget and furthermore forget to realize that we have started making the same mistakes we saw the others make and had solemnly swore never to be stuck in that situation. But life's never was and will never be a bed of roses,.. until we make it!!! Yes we do make it a bed of roses but then can you sleep on it?,... What will you do if you cant sleep even if your life is bed of roses. Have you ever thought why do u always end smiling thinking about your college life? No matter how much u would have cried , fought etc etc,...but still manage to smile... The above two lines have taught me to appreciate the joys and beauty of one life and actually ignore the little bumps and bruises you get on the way,..

The V-day or is it??!

For once if we forget what gender we are and start living like bacteria....how many issues can be solved right.......?!
Wrong!!!
None...even if we resolve one issue we give rise to another and nurture another........if not religious then state or else terrorism well the list is endless.......
I thought about the V-day and about that man who started it...
This day was supposed to spread love not "just love between man and woman"
Good day for businessmen ...they have taxed it so much that Valentine day has lost its true meaning...
What Shiv sena and Ram sevak are doing is appalling but what good are we doing... What we are doing is no different...
How many teenagers actually know who was St Valentin and what did he do?
Do they even know what da word "philanthropist" mean?
Measures must be taken to keep the sanctity of such occasions because if St valentine were to be alive now and if he saw The V-day sign i am pretty sure he wont be happy...
He was an epitome of brotherhood , he wanted peace and harmony among people he promoted love because no other power could have the above wanted effects...
But today all i see is pink ballons... 50 rupee each.........
Did anybody buy food and went to a old age home or an orphanage and said "Happy Valentines everybody"
no i dont think so..... i am yet to come across such incident........
but what i see and read is people gifting their girlfriends and wives expensive cars diamonds even islands!!!
And what i see is on a day like today there are still people going to bed...maybe even not that without food and even if after a meal and they do not feel that they are loved ... or that they mean anything...to anyone...
i strongly feel that it is a sin to celebrate this so called V-day... because its has lost its meaning.

girl interrupted

As i stood frozen in front of the television i saw the terrible new of the noida gangrape....
my god...what has changed???
we are in the 21st century but the nations capital is instead of progressing is actually deteriorating every day.....
as i watched and like any other female viewer winced in horror as the episode was narrated and later a debate had taken place...
Death Penalty they say is it sufficient...when will these few men realize that rape is so sooo so far worse than death for a female...
as the issue was as its always is was politicized....
i mean why shouldnt these men be dealt with like da one who threw acid on girls n were encountered...
its high time we realise dat u have to be a barbarian to counter one....
as its well known "zeher he zeher ko kat ta hai"...poison ends poison...
many would say its not moralistic n all but just think about that girl... she is scared for life... imagine if it would have been your mother, sister , friend, love of your life...even your daughter!!!
What would u have done....i ask the males on this planet why is it dat wen u cross a girl u have to comment n feel gud if she ducks away wen u try n touch her or finally show her where she stands!!!
my god till when do we girls have to regret being born as girls...we have reasons enuf already....
Acc to news the attackers were members of a cricket team is this what they r taught???
No matter how much u educate man is this what he will do eventually????

what to expect n what not to....?

Is it really good to be good???...n dat too to people????...
i have a query...well even when you are nice to some one...saved their ass...n were concerned about them...wat u get in return....not even nothing but something dat you wish....had been nothing....
is dis how it happens??????